Life Sorted

I have written so many other pieces that I could put on this blog but I just can't find them. I know I haven't chucked them, I put them in my draw, but everything's a mess right now. This whole week has not been good. I haven't gone college again. I promised my Keyworker that I would and I just haven't gone. I feel annoyed with myself. I wish that I could get on top of my life really, and not have others try and live it for me.

I want to be independent from everything I know and have a sense of security within myself that I just can't feel right now. I recon I need to go back to college so everyone can just get off my back. Plus then I can prove everyone wrong but most importantly I need to prove myself wrong, and start telling myself that I am worth a qualification + education.

Then I can finally live out my dream of volunteering as a teacher, and help other people that are worse off and have less than me -or the ones who have nothing. I would also like to get fit and healthy so I can go and see the world, because I know it is so much bigger than London. I want to meet people who I would never dream of meeting before. People like Beyonce, Cheryl Cole, Boston Celtics, Barack and Michelle Obama plus a few others. Even if I don't meet the so called superstars there are so many other people in this world who I know have a lot to offer. People in different countries, people living a completely different life from me.

I know that the only way that I can do this is by knuckling down in college but also in life, so that I can finally do something and get somewhere without having to be nagged or asked I will just get up and do it as if it just came naturally to me cos then I can finally say to myself and everyone that never believed in me hahahaha lol I have finally made it and I don't need you to tell me any different and if that's the way you feel there's the door please use it as I have moved on from everything I use to be and don't need that kind of negative attention anymore thank you!

I recon before I go bed tonight I will say something positive to myself- like "I am worth it, life is my oyster". I know this is true and these are the words I need to be hearing right now.
Tomorrow can only be better if I make it that way today Kx.